Every so often I re-examine where my life is and where I want it to go. During the last two years I have brought some extra income into our home by babysitting. Usually I have six extra children from early morning until dinner time. It means there is rarely a quiet moment in the house, my own kids don't get all the attention they think they need (and they are probably right), and my introverted self gets a little crazy having people around every day; all the time. I admit I've done my share of griping about the road my life has taken.
I started watching children because we needed the extra income but felt it was important that I still be home for my own kids. In that sense it works well. My kids know I am always here when they need me and I'm home when they come home from school. But every so often another job opportunity comes up.
The latest was this last week. I interviewed for a job right here in my little town. As my husband and I discussed all the pros and cons of taking or not taking this job I was amazed at how good the life I have now looks. Sure, I rarely leave the house (really hard with six kids under the age of five), the house is never as clean as I would like, and there is the constant noise. But I always come back to the idea that I love being home for my kids.
The other thing that came to the forefront of our conversations was the affect taking the job would have on my writing time. Right now I am usually able to get in at least an hour while all the kids lay down for a "quiet time" and then some time in the evening. I sure hate to give that up. With my husband's encouragement we decided that the decision about which job to take must be heavily influenced by the effect it will have on my writing. By taking this other job, I would lose that hour of writing time, and because of the nature of the job I would lose some evening time as well.
I'm just grateful that my husband is so supportive of me. In the end it always comes down to what I really want to do. But even more than that, it comes down to his absolute belief in my talents and abilities. I sure love that my biggest fan keeps pushing me on and when I do re-examine my priorities, he is standing there cheering for me, whatever decision I make.