This and That

It has been another crazy week here. I still feel like I'm behind on just about everything, but I am slowly catching up. It's all about taking things one day at a time.

1. My oldest daughter turned 18 on Thursday. The years have flown by so fast, I can hardly believe it. She is beautiful, talented, and kind. I am so proud of her and can hardly imagine how strange it will be in our home when she goes to university next year.

2. I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday at girl's camp. Yes, it was snowy and cold, but we didn't feel any need to prove how tough we were. We stayed at a cabin so we were out of the bitter weather. There were only two very small bedrooms, so most of us slept on the floors around the wood burning stoves. There were several tables set up with different crafts, cross country skis to use, a pond to skate on, sleds to ride and a ping pong table. We let the girls pick the activities they wanted to do and didn't really schedule anything. It was about relaxing and spending time together. I have to admit that I was glad to return home to my own bed, though.

3. The last three days, my husband took some scouts up to Camp Impeesa for the Senator Buchanan Winter Camp. Temperatures that dipped into the -40 C range kept them from doing many outdoor activities, but they had fun anyway and everyone returned safe and sound. I'm sure they are all glad to return to their own beds, too.

4. Did I mention that I am more than ready for spring to arrive? Temperatures are still dipping to -20 C quite regularly. Seriously, I'd be happy with a balmy 0 C.

5. I finally started my daughter's grad dress. The pattern making part of the job is driving me crazy. I just wish the pattern companies would produce designs with shoulders and sleeves so that I wouldn't need to draft the missing pieces in every time I sew a dress. Once I get the pattern just right, the rest should go together smoothly. I'll post pictures of the finished product in a month or two.

6. I finally finished Double Deceit and submitted it. Now the fun of waiting begins.

7. The Whitney Awards are quickly approaching and I'm working on reading all the finalists so I can vote. So far I've read 16 1/2. I should be able to catch up now that I'm finished my own revisions. Just looking at Brandon Sanderson's The Way of Kings is intimidating. That is a lot of pages to read, especially considering how many other books are on the list. I'm determined to finish it though.

So that is my week in a nutshell. How was yours?

A Little More Embroidery

I've been doing a lot of thinking about my life and the direction it is going. For years I have suffered from a common ailment among women. My ability to say 'no' seems to be lacking. It has an impact on every aspect of my life. Each 'yes' that maybe should have been a 'no' takes more time from my family, my personal development, and my church responsibilities. So many of the things I agree to do are for good causes or feel necessary at the time, but I'm quickly becoming burned out. I just don't have the energy for anything, let alone everything. I always know when I have done too much, because my reclusive tendencies try to surface and they are taking over right now.

It has become obvious that I need to cut back. It is always difficult to lay everything on the table and try to prioritize things. So much of the problem comes from trying to please everyone. There is the pile of things that I do for my family, there is another pile of things I do for the church, there is a pile of community service, and there is the pile of things I do for myself. Recently, someone asked me how I managed with my plate overflowing. I responded that I had picked up a second plate. So here I am trying to juggle two overfilled plates and not lose my mind.

As I look at the different activities that fill up my days, I see the absence of things that I have already let go. Embroidery is one of those things. I began learning the art of embroidery when I was five or six years old. My father made me a sewing basket and my mother filled it with little squares of fabric with iron-on images, embroidery floss, and needles. It didn't take me long to pick up the skill and realize that I loved doing it. As the years passed, I tried different styles of embroidery and increased my skills. One thing I realized was that embroidery was more than just something to use up my time. It became therapy for me, and I loved having something beautiful to give as a gift or decorate my home.

Since I began trying to balance working, writing, mothering, serving, and all the other things that demand my time, my favorite hobby has slipped away. Now I never pick up a needle and thread just for the pure enjoyment of it, and it makes me sad. It has left a real void in my days. I know I can't do everything, but I also know that I have to allow myself the time to do the activities I love.

That is why doing more embroidery is one of my biggest goals this year. It means I have to trim down my schedule. I have to realize that I can't do everything. If I can figure out what the priorities need to be and find that delicate balance between work, service, and family, then I can allow myself an hour a week to relax do a little bit of handwork. When that happens, I'll know I've accomplished my goal. Who knows, if I get there, some of you may even get something handmade for Christmas next year.

Lest We Forget

They went with songs to the battle, they were young,
Straight of limb, true of eye, steady and aglow.
They were staunch to the end against odds uncounted;
They fell with their faces to the foe.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old,
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them.

-Laurence Binyon
 

 Lest we forget.

Just Checking In

I won't be around too much for the next month. That's right, I've gone crazy and signed up for NaNoWriMo again. This year will be a little tougher for me because I took on a temporary position at the school a few weeks ago. I'll be working until Christmas with a special needs girl. She is a sweet girl, but by the time I get home, I just want to veg in front of the t.v. or stick my nose in a good book.

My project is the next book about Rose and her family. I don't have a title yet, but I do know where I want the story to go. Now I just need to stretch out the hours in the day and figure out how to work into the wee hours of the morning and still be able to stay awake at school. Should be fun.

Did I mention that Christmas is less than two months away? And my oldest daughter is trying to get her application for university filled out, but she needs my help to figure out some citizenship stuff? And the cultural arts group I am vice-president of has decided to get started on our spring play early this year? So like I said, I won't be around much this month, but come December I'll have so much to tell you. See you then. . .

Catching Up

Life has been so hectic and doesn't seem to be settling down. Here is the abbreviated version:

1. Canadian Thanksgiving was this week. We had a lovely dinner with lots of extended family at our home. Everyone contributed so there wasn't too much work for anyone. Great food and great company made for a wonderful evening.

2. My mother and step-father are staying with us for a few days. They are visiting from Arizona and have been with us a week. I haven't seen my mom in two years. Arizona is such a long distance, so it is hard for us to get down there and hard for them to get up here. We've been having a great time visiting, although my work is really falling behind.

3. We've had to hire a tutor for one of the children. When it became obvious that extra help was needed we made the decision to spend the money even though we didn't know where it would come from. Less than twenty-four hours later, I received a phone call from the school offering me a two month position, filling in for someone who is taking medical leave. It is definitely one of those tender mercies. I'm so grateful to know He watches over our needs.

4. NaNoWriMo is coming up quickly. With the new job and everything else I have to work on, I'm not sure I'll be signing up, but I haven't entirely ruled out the possibility yet.

5. My oldest daughter informed me the other day that there is a formal dance coming up at the school. Out school usually holds one formal dance during the year, but in the last few years I've noticed they are planning more and more. Of course this means that she needs to find a dress. Because she is a difficult size to find and the local shopping is incredibly limited, I have some sewing to do. It'll be fun if I can just get her to decide what she wants.

6. My office is almost finished and as soon as I put the final touches in, I'll post pictures. I'm very happy with how it turned out, although the project did remind me that I don't really enjoy painting. I'd much rather do my creating with words or with a needle and thread.

7. So far the reports I've been getting on Finding Rose have been positive. I'm getting many requests for the second book.

8. And that all leads back to the writing. The next story is almost entirely plotted. I have a little research to finish up and then I'll get it all on paper. I'm excited about the story and some new characters who have taken up residence in my mind.

The Snowball Effect

My daughter just had to make my morning and inform me that the forecast was calling for snow on Sunday. It's just one more thing to remind me that summer really seems to be over. I had all sorts of marvellous plans for the two months of summer vacation, but as usual, the time passed and I had to keep chopping projects off my list. I just dream too big and forget how long most things take to do. Even though many of my planned activities didn't happen, other things took their place.

Last spring the shower stall in our downstairs bathroom finally fell apart for good. It has been threatening this for a long time, but when the door fell off this time, we knew it couldn't be fixed. Since we were tearing things apart anyway, I decided it was time to paint and decorate. For those of you who have been in my house, this is not something I normally do. Choosing a paint colour scares me to death. I don't like spending money on home decor when I could spend the same money on food. Most of our house is filled with hand me downs and cast-off furniture that only kind of matches if you squint and use your imagination.

So the kids who share that bathroom gave me their input, and the only colour they could agree on was red. Let me just say that I am not a huge fan of red. I don't wear it and I don't put it in my house. But this is the room they use and we started coming up with a plan. We picked a colour and bought the paint. Then I went to Idaho for a week. When I called home, my husband told me he had finished the first coat. "It looks like dried blood," he said. My daughter got on the phone and reassured me that it really was beautiful. I decided to believe her because the dried blood image was just too disturbing. When I returned home last Saturday I went downstairs to have a look. It is much brighter than I had originally imagined, but my daughter was right. It is quite pretty.

Another project that distracted me from other things is the office. We have one room that serves as an office for my husband and me and also as a guest bedroom. There is a built in bunk bed, several bookshelves and two tables we use as desks. A few weeks ago, my uncle offered me a desk he wanted to get rid of. It is one of the monstrous old teacher's desks that has to be forty years old. It is solid wood and in great shape. I'd been dreaming of a desk with drawers to replace the table, but the problem was the colour. The blond wood just didn't inspire me. So I decided to clean it up and paint it white. A set of new drawer pulls and the desk looks like new. Of course, I couldn't put my shiny new desk in my sad beige office, so another painting project was born. Now everything needs to come out of the office so we can finish that project.

We work on these when we can, but Sunday my mother called to tell us she will be coming for two weeks in October. I guess that will be the added motivation to finish these chores that keep snowballing and get the house put back together. Sadly, I didn't take any before pictures, but I'll be sure to post pictures of the finished rooms.

Playing Catch Up

Despite all my best intentions to be more consistent with my blogging, I have fallen more behind than ever. You would think with everything going on in my life, I would have lots to say. Instead, most of my brain power is just spent in trying to keep up.

Since February I have been involved with a play the Cultural Arts Society put on. My two oldest children were involved and the youngest was just jealous because she wasn't old enough to try out. Because I am on the board of directors, the question wasn't "Do you want to help?" but "Which job do you want?" Whenever I am given that choice, I pick costumes because I can do it in my own time rather than during scheduled practises.  The kids all looked great during the performances and they did a fantastic job with the play. By the time the final week rolled around, we were all sick of the whole thing, but the next week we were already talking about what play they might choose to do next year. 

Right in the middle of all that busyness, I attended the LDStorymakers conference in Utah. This was my fourth year and as always, it was an amazing experience. I can't believe how much the conference has grown. I remember the first year I went. It was small and perfect for an introvert like me. Now it's like attending a giant family reunion where the family just gets a little bigger every year. I'm already looking forward to next year and hoping that it just might be scheduled at a time when my oldest daughter will be able to come.

My university course has suffered through all this. I'm glad I decided to start with only one since I already had to take an extension on it. Another project came up and I had to make a decision on which took priority. After much discussion with my husband, the school got put aside. I have to hit the books hard now and get those essays written so I can finish the class and sign up for the next one.

With everything going on, I am struggling to get the writing in, but I am constantly working on projects that are stretching my mind in whole new directions. I love how writing keeps my mind active and there is always something new to learn. I only wish there were a few more spare hours to be had. Summer gets closer and I always imagine how I will spend entire days working on the next novel, but in reality, my summer is already booked solid with family vacations, reunions, girls camp and catching up on some sewing for the girls. Honestly though, I seem to work better under pressure. I'm hoping to get another book well on its way in the quiet moments, however rare they are. I'm just glad the kids are old enough to fend for themselves most of the time.

I finally got a calling in the ward after a six month break. They asked me to be the Mia-Maid advisor. I just wondered why they couldn't have called me after girls camp. I went to my first camp meeting last night. At the girls request, they are really roughing it. Sounds scary to me. I don't need showers and running water to camp, but I do have my limits. Hopefully I'll survive. If nothing else, there should be some good fodder for stories. Now just to squeeze out the time to write them all.

Easter Break Score Card

Just day-to-day stuff:

• 1 easter picnic with the extended family
• 6 loads of laundry washed and folded
• 1 family home evening activity in the city with the kids
• 6 dinners cooked
• 1 grocery shopping trip in the city
• 1 date night in the city
• 1 blog written
• 1 migraine
• 1 sewing room cleaned
• uncountable hugs given
• 1 pair of pants hemmed for a neighbor
• 1 hoodie mended after a run-in with a band saw
• 0 school work
  

For the play:

• 1 play practice attended
• 6 skirts sewn (with help from my lovely assistants/daughters)
• 8 pairs of pants sewn
  
• 6 vests sewn
  
• 3 pirate shirts sewn
  
• 6 sashes made
  
• 6 eye patches made
• 1 felt pirate hat sewn complete with blood-red plume
• 40+ metres of fabric used

And writing/editing:

• 2 very short hours

Oh well, there's always next week, right?

A Student Again

I've had a few people ask me to clarify what I meant when I mentioned the university courses I've signed up for. University is something I've been thinking about for years, but the timing just never seemed right.

More years ago than I want to admit to, I started college with big plans. Ever since kindergarten I'd dreamed of being a school teacher, more specifically, an English teacher. But well meaning individuals talked me out of it. They insisted that there was no call for someone with those skills and talked me into elementary education, arguing that it would give me more opportunities. I should have stood my ground, but I was still young and easily swayed by older and more seasoned family members. But after one year of this I knew I couldn't spend the rest of my life with little kids.

The advice I received when I announced I would be changing my major was varied, but most of it focused around the need to be able to be a mom and have a career I could do from home. What can I say, I come from a very traditional family and I still believe that is the best option when possible. I entered the fashion design department and discovered I had skill and talent that I could put to good use. After I finished two years of college, I quit school to be a stay-at-home mother.

The year I spent learning behind a sewing machine has served me well, and I've made countless prom and wedding gowns. Sometimes I enjoy it and sometimes not, but because of the area I live in, it has never brought in the kind of income that can support a family. And even though I figured I would be a working seamstress for the rest of my life, the knowledge that I didn't finish school always bothered me.

Over the last two years I have been thinking more and more about returning to school and getting a long-overdue degree. I've had to convince myself and my husband that it is the right thing to do. One of the biggest reasons I kept coming back to was the uncertainty of our future. Several different things have left us with no retirement savings and we often joke about working as Walmart greeters until we die. I always tell my husband that I am his retirement plan. With twelve years difference in our ages, I should be able to work well after he retires. If I had any sort of training.

I know there are places that probably would hire me, but that nagging desire for a formal education keeps kicking around in the back of my mind. I want that piece of paper to prove that I did it. So this January, I signed up for a correspondence course, just to get started. The long term goal is to get that English degree I originally planned on. At some point I will transfer to the local university and get my teaching degree. By doing correspondence, I should be able to stay home at least until the two oldest leave for their own university experiences. Once I get into the groove of papers and tests again, I'll do more than one course at a time, but for now this one course is reminding me how far away those college days are and how much I need to do to catch up. It feels good to be taking action though. I'm not really sure where this all will take me, but it should be an intresting ride.

Increasing Length?

Even though I'm busier than ever this year, I'm still determined to read as many of the Whitney Award finalists as I can. I consider it a great privilege to be able to vote and I take it seriously. Right now I'm stuck in Undaunted. If I stay up for another 45 minutes or so, I should be able to finish it. The end is kind of dragging for me and I keep wanting to start another book, but I'm trying to be disciplined and read one book at a time. As it stands, I'm about half done the reading list.

Maybe it's because I have so many other things on my plate right now, but I'm convinced that the books (on average) are longer this year than last year. Maybe when life slows down a bit, I'll figure it out - just because I'm a little obsessive like that. Meanwhile, I'm off to go read into the wee hours of the morning. Tomorrow is just a bunch of housecleaning and I don't need to be totally awake for that, right?

Finding What Works

Ever since I had my first child, my weight has climbed. There have been the odd times when I lose a few pounds, but nothing I tried ever worked long term. Most of the time I give up far too easily and end up heavier than ever. As I watched the number grow, I found myself more worried about my health and even worse, I found my confidence shrinking. At one point I gave up. Why bother trying if every diet plan just made me frustrated and grumpy? Last October I stood on the scale and the number horrified me. I hadn't even been that heavy when I was pregnant. With some good advice from my mother, I decided to give it another try. To date I have lost twenty-one pounds. I'm still working at it but there will be no quitting this time. I think I found what works for me.

Writing is a struggle, too. Mostly it is a time issue. I need to drop something from my schedule - I just haven't figured out what yet. Some of it is a confidence problem. I still see so much of my work as unreadable and wonder why I ever thought I could do this. Those are things I try to improve on daily. The bigger problem is that I am still trying to find what works.

I tend to write by the seat of my pants. I let the story flow from my fingers and just hope it makes sense in the end. It's the same way I used to write high school and college papers - not really a highly recommended method, but somehow I got by. What I've discovered is that I'm not really fond of editing. When the story is told, I want to be done. Of course, letting it all just spill out onto paper leaves a lot of holes that I have to go back and fill in. I can do it, but it just about drives me crazy.

I'm trying to teach myself to outline a little more. But I love to see where the story goes without me over-thinking it. So I need to find the balance of not too much planning, but just enough to leave me with fewer holes in the end. Someday I'll figure it out. Until then I stumble along hoping that I can pull it all together and find the right system for me. I go to conferences, participate in my critique group and read as much as I can. All the little things I pick up here and there help and I can see myself getting better all the time. It's all just part of the lengthy learning process. But if I can improve my eating habits, surely I can improve my writing habits as well. It's all just a matter of finding what works.

Warm Air Please

I love the snow. It's beautiful. It's fun. But I can only take so much. Right now I am so ready for a chinook. That's the big advantage of living where I do. The snow comes, it get bitterly cold, and I drink a lot of hot chocolate. Then every so often a chinook comes along and relieves us of winter for a few days.
A chinook is a warm wind that blows from the coast over the Rocky Mountains. When it hits the prairies, the snow melts. You can get up in the morning to -20 C and a foot of snow then by noon, the snow is almost gone and the temperatures are hovering above zero. People shed coats and enjoy the spring-like temperatures for a few days before the cold returns. Yes, a chinook does mean wind - sometimes gusting up to 120 miles per hour - and it means things get a little muddy for a few days. But after weeks of temperatures well below freezing, I'll take a little mud. So many people here gripe about the wind, but I'll admit, when I moved away from the area I found myself missing it just a little.

So I'm ready for a little warm. Just for a few days. Then I can take the deep freeze again for a while. My pantry is well stocked with hot chocolate after all.

A Good Day to Stay Home

Nature's insulation. Kind of obstructs the view, but it's pretty at the same time.


Out the front door - or at least we could go out the front door if we could get it open. My son had to go out the side door and come up the front steps this morning to get his newspapers from the bin that is buried somewhere under that snowdrift.


Another shot of the front porch. You could lose a small child in there!


Shovelling the snow from the walk is going to be a fun job. Should burn a lot of calories. It is still snowing and blowing furiously, so I'm not sure how long a shovelled walk will last.

Of course, when my husband did try to take the van out, he ended up stuck. Our wonderful neighbors came right over when they saw the problem. They were out and on their way in no time. Seems like a good day to turn on the oven and fill the house with the warmth and aroma of Christmas baking.

Too Soon Gone

It seems far too early this year. Here it is the third day of school and I still feel like I got cheated out of summer. I've already paid for two sets of school pictures to be taken and ordered a new band instrument for the youngest daughter (trombone - who'd have guessed?). My canning supplies are still in the kitchen waiting for the next batch of fruit to come and the last few days have been the hottest of the summer. Of course the pool is closed now since all the life guards have returned to school. That's okay though. Who has time to swim now that it's homework season again.

My oldest daughter started grade eleven and is going to try keeping her job at the theatre throughout the school year. I've always insisted that my children have early bed times which gradually get later as the kids get older, so working late on a school night might be a real trial for her. But if she can pull it off, she'll learn valuable time management skills especially since she'll have to work her way through university. This year is going to go too fast and, as she keeps reminding me, next summer we get to start shopping for grad dresses. I'm trying not to think about it.

My son started grade ten and officially entered high school. This is the kid who has had 100% attendance for five years now and is shooting for six. This is also the kid who hardly ever brings home homework. Tonight he brought home some math. I think he'll find high school to be more challenging than what he's used to. I'm glad. He needs it. He's counting down the days until he turns 16 (although that is still over six months away.) He's sure he'll start asking girls out right away and we're sure he'll turn out just like every other guy in town. Only time will tell. (Is it legal to lock them up until their brains become unscrambled?)

Then there is the youngest. She's finally in grade six. She's been looking forward to this for three years now. The school is part of a pilot project where every student in grade six "owns" a laptop for the year. They use it for many of their assignments at school and get to bring it home with them. I'm trying to smile about that, but the injustice of my 12 year old getting a laptop of her own, while mine rests in computer heaven just makes me want to cry. Okay, that might be a little over the top, but still. . .

Even though all this is a constant reminder that the winter snows will be upon us before we're ready, I have to admit I'm looking forward to the change in the seasons. It's one reason I choose to live where I do. I can only take so much warm weather before I start craving a mug of hot chocolate and a good snowstorm. My mind has started to think about the holidays coming up - what sort of pie will I make for Thanksgiving this year, what Halloween costumes will the kids want, and Christmas lists? (Santa really is going to get started earlier this year.) My two critique groups will start up again and I begin the job hunt in earnest.

Summer went too fast and winter will probably do the same, but the return to routines is welcome and the cooler weather will be a nice change. I suppose it's about capturing the joy of every moment before it fades into memory, since the memories are all that's left when the moments fade away.

Odds and Ends

This post should have been written a few weeks ago telling everyone that I would be participating in Tristi's July challenge. Let's just say that hasn't worked out. I should know that taking on something like that in July is just asking for trouble.

I really was gearing up to start a new book and have it mostly finished by the end of the month, then the laptop died. Can I just say I've really discovered just how addicted I am to that little machine? I use it for everything. I let the battery run down and when I plugged it in to recharge, there was nothing. No power coming from the cord. Nothing. Thinking it was a faulty cord, since I'd already had trouble with it, we ordered a new one. That didn't work. My husband removed the hard drive and I was able to take all my writing files and transfer them to the family computer. (Yes, I do back things up, but this was the easiest way to get all of them quickly.) So here I am going on three weeks without my most valuable tool. It's driving me crazy. Meanwhile, I'm typing away on the sluggish family computer and wondering how Charles Dickens and Jane Austen managed to write as much as they did with just a paper, pen and poor lighting. Guess I don't have it so rough.

Right around the time of my laptop's illness, I took a in wedding dress to do some alterations. Gorgeous dress, nightmare alterations. The skirt is a cloud of vertical flounces. Not your standard hemming job and then she wanted it taken in about four sizes. This is one time I was glad a girl had picked a dress with no sleeves. Tomorrow I'll finish rebeading some spots on the bodice and hem the lining. Then I can happily send it on its way.

It took me long time to get to the dress because my sewing room was invaded by teenagers. My daughter and her friends were frantically sewing to get their costumes ready for Zion's Camp (pioneer trek). They each made bonnets, bloomers and dresses for the four day experience. I was amazed at my daughter's sewing ability. She still has a lot to learn, but I thought she could do little more than the occasional pair of pajama pants. With very little help, she made a dress, and helped her friends with their sewing projects. I was glad they needed so little guidance from me. She and my son had a wonderful time at Zion's camp and are still talking about it. I almost wish I could have gone.

It feels like summer has just gotten going and I keep trying to get in the swing of things. But just yesterday I realized that my 20 year class reunion is next weekend and then summer will be half over. I still can't figure out how I ended up in charge of that event, but I have a ton to do in the next eight days. There are several people I've managed to pull in and they are a great help, but I keep feeling like I have to hold everything together and make it a memorable weekend. Should be fun. We've been reliving the '80's at my house. I'm loving some of the great music. My kids can't wait to have 'normal' music back in the cd player. I just laugh. Someday they will be old too.

So with all that, I'm bowing out of Tristi's challenge this month. But don't give up on me Tristi. I'm looking forward to the next one.

Stay Tuned

The writing conference is over. The grad dresses are finished and have been proudly displayed for the world to see. The ballet tutus are sewn and were turned in on Friday. Best of all, my manuscript edits are complete and I sent it off today. I even managed to get some weeding done in the flower garden. So with all the big things off my plate, I may actually get back to some regular blogging. Stay tuned. . .

Another Day at School

Many times when I sub at the school, I'm bored silly. I can see the value of having educational assistants in the schools - especially for the kids that really need the extra help - but as a sub, there is often nothing to do, just lots of sitting and listening to classes that were boring 25 years ago and haven't changed. One teacher asked me last week when the last time I used sin, cosine and tangent applications. I smiled back at him and said, "high school". Math interests me even less now knowing that I haven't used most of it in 20 years.

Today was a pleasant boring as I sat outside and watched a grade seven class play kick ball. Still hard to stay awake, but how wonderful to feel the warm sun on my back, hear the birds sing and breathe the fresh spring air. Did I mention I am really glad to see the snow finally gone? I'm sure we'll get a good spring storm at some point, but I'm going to enjoy the sunshine when I can get it.

To beat the boredom, I've learned to take a notebook with me when I sub in the high school. There are lots of moments when I can take a few notes, jot down story ideas or even do something as mundane as make a grocery list. School is a gold mine of characters and ideas. A few teachers know I'm a writer and always ask if I am busy writing them into my next book. I just laugh and shrug. You never know.

Why Am I Doing This?

I think all the creative ideas fell out of my brain some time ago. Not sure when it happened or how, but right now, I'm sure there is an empty space where I used to keep all my writing thoughts.

Too many times in the last little while I've opened up this blog feeling like I needed to say something, but ended up shutting down because nothing came. Maybe my life is just too boring. Maybe I feel like my silent audience doesn't really care if I continue. Some bloggers refuse to post again until they receive a certain number of comments on the last post. Some bloggers ask their readers for questions and then blog the answers.

But it's really not just the blog. The rest of my writing is suffering too. It's quite frustrating. Three days ago, I determined I should quit. Never write again. Not waste my time pecking away at the computer and wondering if my time could be better spent elsewhere.

A few ideas are floating around my head, but nothing is sticking. I do know it's temporary. I'll keep pushing forward and something will click. The creative thoughts I'm missing will return and be stronger than ever, but for now I just can't seem to get it together. Somehow though, I know the next book is in there somewhere. Waiting to get out. I just have to find it.

There and Back Again

It's funny how the best laid plans can change in a moment. I intended to work on my first chapters and read for the Whitney's on Saturday. Sunday I'd hoped to do some proofreading on the emergency preparation manual my dad is putting together for the sake. Monday and Tuesday would be back to the reading and writing or subbing at the school.

Instead I spent the weekend driving for fourteen hours to the B.C. coast for the funeral of my great aunt. The main reason I went was to be an extra driver for my aunt and uncle. I didn't know my aunt well but is was nice to reconnect with some cousins I hadn't seen in years and meet a few new ones.

It also provided me with the opportunity to do a little research for my WIP. Most of the story takes place in Alberta, but there are a few scenes that take place along the highway we took and on the coast. I appreciated the chance to get a good look at the scenery. I also had lots of time to sit in a car and try to think about plots and character development - didn't come up with a lot of answers, but I was traveling on little sleep and skipping meals.

Anyway, I did manage to get one Whitney book read during the trip and another read today. There were a few more from the library waiting for me when I got home. So now I plan on curling up on my couch for the next few days and catching up on my reading. It's the best kind of work.

Grout, Edits, Readers and Other Misc. Things

First of all, Happy Sweet Sixteen to my oldest daughter. More on that tomorrow.

Tonight I had a wonderful blog planned and had just pulled out the computer to write it when my husband called me upstairs. So instead of writing, I helped grout the slate up by our fireplace. The job needed to be done and it looks great, but now it's late and I'm tired. So the planned blog will have to wait until tomorrow.

It seems to happen more often than not lately - all my good intentions for blogging and writing don't amount to much. To be fair, I am almost done edits on Double Deceit. Now I'm looking for some readers who can give me some good feedback. I'm experiencing a little self-doubt right now and am ready to throw the whole thing away, but I think it's because I've been looking at it for too long. A change in projects is exactly what I need. While I'm waiting for feedback, I'll be working on a few things for the first chapters contest from the LDStorymakers conference.

I'm also still trying to get all the Whitney finalists read, and I'll start reviewing them soon. With all this, at least I don't have time to be bored.