Since the babysitting gig has come to an end, I've been trying to figure out what's next. The options seem endless until I break them down into pros and cons. So often the cons outweigh the pros and the list shrinks as some things are eliminated. But after much thinking and praying, other things are starting to stand out.
When I began exploring the world of employment again I quickly determined that the idea of leaving the home to re-enter the work force was seriously scary. I’ve become quite a homebody, but that is only part of it. Even though my children are getting older, I still like to see them off to school in the morning, eat lunch with them, and be there when they return home in the afternoon. There is also the difficulty of trying to find a job that pays enough to make up the income we need and also pay for the insanely expensive gas I would need to drive to the city to work.
I also looked at the possibility of returning back to school. Getting a degree is something I’ve toyed with over the years and I always like the thought of getting that piece of paper that says I worked hard and I know something. But once again, after much consideration, it didn’t feel like the right thing.
Yesterday I interviewed for a job here is town and I’m still waiting to hear back from them. I spent much of the last three weeks worrying about even getting that interview, but now that it’s over, I’m not worried about it at all. Que cera. Stressing about it won’t get me anywhere at this point.
The biggest change I’m contemplating is one that scares me and yet leaves me oddly calm at the same time. It would leave us without the extra income for at least a little while but maybe it is the right time to make some big changes. Things looked pretty bleak even just a few days ago, and yet as this idea forms in my head, a lot of things are becoming clearer. I won’t say much more about what I’m contemplating right now as I am still trying to work it out and decide how to approach it.
Everything falling apart, or coming together as it did, leaves me marveling as I often do at the way things slide into place at the right time. It all leaves me wondering if this is one of those leap-of-faith moments. And if I do, maybe this time I’ll be able to fly.