Today was one of those days I wish I could have more often. The two full-time kids I watch never come on Thursday, so depending on the schedules of the rest of the part time kids, sometimes I get a Thursday off.
I felt so productive. This morning I caught up on some work that has been piling up and this afternoon I was a writer. It is a role I haven't put on for some time. I prepared a manuscript for submission, did a writing exercise or two and wrote 1700 words on my current WIP. That's 1700 more than I've written in a long time.
My approach to the computer was a little hesitant. I haven't had any success increasing my word count for awhile, so I found myself fighting the opportunity. What if I didn't have anything to say? What if I still couldn't get the story to pick up? Like any talent, if you don't work at it, you'll lose it. But also like other talents, when you pick it back up again and work at it, it will come back. The words did come. Slowly. A few of these scenes will probably have to be re-written, but at least I'm getting closer to the end.
I've been thinking about why I write. Julie Coulter Bellon wrote a blog today called, "Is Writing Your Calling?" She sparked a big discussion about whether writing is a calling or a talent and what is the difference. No clear answer came up. Of course, the right answer is so individual.
In my case, I feel compelled to write. Sometimes I wander away from it and get caught up in other things, but I always come back to writing. I often contemplate my future and the things I want to accomplish. At times I consider going back to school and getting a degree. Other times I think about going out and getting a real job instead of staying home to watch other people's children. But whenever I seriously think about the options, I come back to the conclusion that I am supposed to write.
When I write and put my thoughts and ideas on paper for others to read, there is a sense of completeness in my life. There is a sense of doing what I am supposed to be doing - a calmness that I don't find anywhere else. I don't know if that means it is a calling or just talent that drives me. I do know I won't be stopping anytime soon. Where this compulsion will take me is still a mystery, but I'm sure fascinated by the ride.
6 comments:
I always thought that eventually that feeling of procrastination, of dragging myself to they keyboard, would go away. It never does. Very often there's that "hesitancy" as you put it.
But afterward (and often, ten minutes into a session, when I'm finally going), there's that sense of peace and completeness that comes along with it.
Glad you still come back to writing, regardless of calling/talent.
I'm happy you have those feelings of getting cauight up in other things besides your writing- even though that's what you want to do and you feel the need to do so. This makes me feel better. I guess I was contemplating whether or not I'm supposed to do this since I cna't stay focused on it all the time. I have serious A.D.D. when it comes to projects. It's annoying!
I love that you feel a sense of peace and completeness is your life when you write. How neat is that?!
What a great way of wording what a writer feels! Keep on writing, and that's all one has to do.
How lovely to feel such a sense of accomplishment--the to-do list tackled and 1700 words written! Hope you have more days like this.
That was beautifully written Stephanie - and exactly how I feel too.
I think it's both, a calling and a talent.
So glad you made some progress on your book Stephanie. And a submission? AWESOME
Beautifully expressed, that really is exactly how it feels for me too.
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