Today was one of those days I wish I could have more often. The two full-time kids I watch never come on Thursday, so depending on the schedules of the rest of the part time kids, sometimes I get a Thursday off.
I felt so productive. This morning I caught up on some work that has been piling up and this afternoon I was a writer. It is a role I haven't put on for some time. I prepared a manuscript for submission, did a writing exercise or two and wrote 1700 words on my current WIP. That's 1700 more than I've written in a long time.
My approach to the computer was a little hesitant. I haven't had any success increasing my word count for awhile, so I found myself fighting the opportunity. What if I didn't have anything to say? What if I still couldn't get the story to pick up? Like any talent, if you don't work at it, you'll lose it. But also like other talents, when you pick it back up again and work at it, it will come back. The words did come. Slowly. A few of these scenes will probably have to be re-written, but at least I'm getting closer to the end.
I've been thinking about why I write. Julie Coulter Bellon wrote a blog today called, "Is Writing Your Calling?" She sparked a big discussion about whether writing is a calling or a talent and what is the difference. No clear answer came up. Of course, the right answer is so individual.
In my case, I feel compelled to write. Sometimes I wander away from it and get caught up in other things, but I always come back to writing. I often contemplate my future and the things I want to accomplish. At times I consider going back to school and getting a degree. Other times I think about going out and getting a real job instead of staying home to watch other people's children. But whenever I seriously think about the options, I come back to the conclusion that I am supposed to write.
When I write and put my thoughts and ideas on paper for others to read, there is a sense of completeness in my life. There is a sense of doing what I am supposed to be doing - a calmness that I don't find anywhere else. I don't know if that means it is a calling or just talent that drives me. I do know I won't be stopping anytime soon. Where this compulsion will take me is still a mystery, but I'm sure fascinated by the ride.