If Only it Were True

I have my name on the substitute list for classroom aides at the school. A couple times a week I'll get a phone call to go to work. Usually I help individual children with math or reading or help special needs children with their daily routine. One day I was asked to sub in the library - my favorite place to work. This particular time, I ended up teaching a grade two class about biographies. We were to discuss what a biography is and then the children were to pair up and write the biography of their partner.

As the class went to work on their assignment, I walked around the room trying to keep them on task and answer any questions they had. One little girl tapped my arm as I walked past her. "Mrs. Humphreys, my friend told me you are a real writer and wrote a real book." When I said that her friend was right, this little girl's face lit up in amazement. "That is so cool!" she said. Then she turned to her partner and they started working on their biographies.

The next time I walked past her, she tapped my arm again. "So you have a real book that you really wrote?"

"Yes." I smiled and asked her to turn back to her work. She giggled and said again, "That is SO cool!"

This went on for the rest of the class. Every time I walked by she would have a different question. "What is the book about?", "Is your book in a bookstore?", and "Are you writing more books?"  After every one of my responses, she would say how cool it was. (I wouldn't have normally encouraged her interest in the middle of class, but she was one of the more diligent students and was getting the assignment finished.)

At the end of the class period, I had them line up at the door to return to their classroom. This little girl stood at the end of the line where I was standing and said, "Mrs. Humphreys, if you write books, you must make all the money in your house."

She was a little disappointed when I told her Mr. Humphreys makes the money in our house. Oh well, it can't all be cool, can it?

This and That

It has been another crazy week here. I still feel like I'm behind on just about everything, but I am slowly catching up. It's all about taking things one day at a time.

1. My oldest daughter turned 18 on Thursday. The years have flown by so fast, I can hardly believe it. She is beautiful, talented, and kind. I am so proud of her and can hardly imagine how strange it will be in our home when she goes to university next year.

2. I spent Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday at girl's camp. Yes, it was snowy and cold, but we didn't feel any need to prove how tough we were. We stayed at a cabin so we were out of the bitter weather. There were only two very small bedrooms, so most of us slept on the floors around the wood burning stoves. There were several tables set up with different crafts, cross country skis to use, a pond to skate on, sleds to ride and a ping pong table. We let the girls pick the activities they wanted to do and didn't really schedule anything. It was about relaxing and spending time together. I have to admit that I was glad to return home to my own bed, though.

3. The last three days, my husband took some scouts up to Camp Impeesa for the Senator Buchanan Winter Camp. Temperatures that dipped into the -40 C range kept them from doing many outdoor activities, but they had fun anyway and everyone returned safe and sound. I'm sure they are all glad to return to their own beds, too.

4. Did I mention that I am more than ready for spring to arrive? Temperatures are still dipping to -20 C quite regularly. Seriously, I'd be happy with a balmy 0 C.

5. I finally started my daughter's grad dress. The pattern making part of the job is driving me crazy. I just wish the pattern companies would produce designs with shoulders and sleeves so that I wouldn't need to draft the missing pieces in every time I sew a dress. Once I get the pattern just right, the rest should go together smoothly. I'll post pictures of the finished product in a month or two.

6. I finally finished Double Deceit and submitted it. Now the fun of waiting begins.

7. The Whitney Awards are quickly approaching and I'm working on reading all the finalists so I can vote. So far I've read 16 1/2. I should be able to catch up now that I'm finished my own revisions. Just looking at Brandon Sanderson's The Way of Kings is intimidating. That is a lot of pages to read, especially considering how many other books are on the list. I'm determined to finish it though.

So that is my week in a nutshell. How was yours?

A Question

A recent comment by my brother got me thinking about handwriting. He said he couldn't understand why school wasted any time teaching cursive writing to students. He feels that with the available technology, cursive is an archaic skill.

It's true. Most of us rarely write with pen and paper anymore. Some of the younger teachers at school can't write in cursive and certainly aren't comfortable teaching handwriting to children. When I was in grade school, penmanship was part of the curriculum, and I can remember the endless pages of oooooos and llllllls we wrote to help us develop the fine motor skills needed to form the graceful loops and whirls of handwriting. Now, students get about fifteen minutes a day and teachers don't feel the skill is important because so much of what a student does is on the computer. I can understand how people would feel that handwriting is uneccessary and with all the new things teachers need to fit into the school day, there really isn't time to teach this old-fashioned skill.

Still, I can't help but feel that society loses something valuable if cursive writing becomes extinct. This spring I spent many hours typing my grandmother's journal into the computer so every family member could have a copy. The first half of the journal was handwritten and the second half typed on a typewriter. I enjoyed the whole thing, but it was more interesting reading the first half. At first we couldn't figure out all the extra periods, but soon we realized Grandma had an interesting habit of resting her pen on the page after writing a word while she thought of what she wanted to say next. In her handwriting I could see her personality and often her mood as she wrote.

The potential death of cursive writing is extending to printing as well. While I was subbing at the school recently, I had a conversation with some of the teachers. It began when I observed how the children all held their pencils in different ways. I remember learning to print and how holding the pencil properly was so important. The teachers told me that they that they didn't have time to worry about proper form and as long as the child could make legible letters, it didn't matter.

My own children are all in junior/senior high school and well beyond the grades where good penmanship is encouraged. They are asked to submit all their papers typed rather than handwritten.  One of my daughters even struggles to read some cursive writing. I always tell them they better learn, because that is the only way I write. Some college entrance exams in the United States still have handwritten essay components which can be graded with an automatic fail if the person grading the test can't read the handwriting.

I listened to an fascinating interview on CBC the other day. They were discussing the importance of handwritting and some interesting studies that had been done. It has been found that students who write an essay by hand before typing it into the computer express themselves better, have more creative ideas and, overall, write better essays. I've always maintained that writing by hand engages a different part of the brain than typing on the computer. If I am typing, I can watch TV, talk to someone and still type at the same time. On the other hand, if I am using pen and paper, my entire focus needs to be on what I am writing and I tend to think through what I am saying a lot more thoroughly.

Don't get me wrong, I would never give up my computer. If I had to write novels by hand, I don't know if I would ever finish. But there are times when I put the computer away and get out my notebook and pen. It helps me get past writer's block and brainstorm new ideas. When I write in my journal, it is always by hand. There is something so much more personal and intimate about expressing ideas one elegant loop at a time. And there is nothing better than receiving a hand written note in the mail. And, as the CBC program pointed out. . .what happens during a power failure or when the batteries die?

I can't change what is taught in the schools, and can't even convince my kids to improve their handwritting skills. I won't give up my computer but I won't give up my pen and notepad either. But maybe I am part of the last generation that will write letters, grocery lists and journal entries by hand. I find that a little sad.

Know Your Characters

I've mentioned before that I am a member of my community's cultural arts society. We don't have a theatre, so almost every production we do is done in conjunction with the high school. It is the best way to get their cooperation and have access to the stage in the school. It is so fun to work with the teenagers who are involved and get to know them better. There really aren't enough hours in a day for me to do this, but I am committed to be actively involved until my youngest graduates from high school. It is something I do for and with my kids. (This time all three of them have parts, and my son is playing the lead). After that we'll see what happens. As much as I enjoy it, I'll probably stay on, but we'll see.

We started rehearsals for our next production right after the new year. As always, the kids are great. The play is Wagon Wheels West, a spoof on the old Hollywood westerns. The rehearsals are interesting but some of the kids are having a hard time getting into character. Most of them have never seen one of the old movies and have never heard of John Wayne or Gary Cooper. Our shoot-out on mainstreet ends up sounding a little like a light sabre battle in Star Wars.

Most of the kids come on stage and act like a strange version of themselves - some sort of strange blend of a modern teenager and old cowboy. Last week, we sat all the kids in a circle and one by one went over their characters. We discussed what their motivations were, how their relationship affected their actions, their responsibilities in the old west community, and sometimes even making up background stories for them. I found a few videos for our villain and hero to watch so they could understand the intensity of an old west gun battle.

What a change those discussions made in our rehearsals! Now the kids come on stage with a clear vision of who they are portraying. Our villain is that much more villainous, our hero is more heroic, and our outlaws are going to steal the show. Understanding their roles made all the difference in how they acted.

It reminded me of writing. I can tell a story, but unless I take the time to get to know and understand my characters, the story will fall flat. There are so many things about a character that never make it into the book. Yet it is those very things that influence how the character acts in any given situation. When we know our characters inside and out, it allows us to write them consistently. It is worth the time it takes to do because in the end, it makes the story stronger and more interesting for the reader.

Just Checking In

I won't be around too much for the next month. That's right, I've gone crazy and signed up for NaNoWriMo again. This year will be a little tougher for me because I took on a temporary position at the school a few weeks ago. I'll be working until Christmas with a special needs girl. She is a sweet girl, but by the time I get home, I just want to veg in front of the t.v. or stick my nose in a good book.

My project is the next book about Rose and her family. I don't have a title yet, but I do know where I want the story to go. Now I just need to stretch out the hours in the day and figure out how to work into the wee hours of the morning and still be able to stay awake at school. Should be fun.

Did I mention that Christmas is less than two months away? And my oldest daughter is trying to get her application for university filled out, but she needs my help to figure out some citizenship stuff? And the cultural arts group I am vice-president of has decided to get started on our spring play early this year? So like I said, I won't be around much this month, but come December I'll have so much to tell you. See you then. . .

Just Wait Until You See Amazing

Yesterday I played the piano for my daughter when she sang in church. She has had a sore throat and cold over the last week, and as we were practicing Saturday night she was concerned that her voice would crack and she wouldn’t do as well as she usually does. Still, she was confident that she would do fine. Her vocal teacher told her that she already has “very good” down pat and now she has to work on being amazing. But even if she has a less than stellar performance, as long as she puts in her best effort, the audience will still love “very good”.

How often do we do something well, but won’t share with others because it isn’t amazing? When working on a manuscript, I can edit for months and still feel like the words just aren’t cooperating with me. The temptation to hide it in a drawer and never let anyone see it is always there, yet I know that letting the story molder away in a corner defeats the purpose. I write for others. There is nothing more satisfying than hearing something that flowed from my pen has touched someone’s life and got them thinking. That hidden away manuscript doesn’t help anyone, especially me.

I often have to bite my tongue when someone tells me about a scene in my book that they particularly loved. So often the first thoughts in my mind are how I could make it better, because let’s face it, nothing is perfect. When I step back and think about the comments I’ve received, I realize that the stories I tell can touch people’s lives despite their imperfections.

It’s like my daughter’s singing. To most of us, her voice is amazing – clear, sweet, strong. Yet she hears the word that didn’t come out exactly right or the note that didn’t get held as long as she wanted.  Despite still having much to learn about the voice and how to use it, she always brings a wonderful spirit into the room when she shares her talent. The rest of us wish we could sing as beautifully.

It’s interesting being imperfect. There is always something new to learn, a different technique to try, a mistake to fix, and a new skill level to reach for. I think if I wrote the perfect book every time, the process would lose something and become boring. For me, part of the joy is the learning I do along the way. I keep reminding myself, if our audiences love our “very good,” just wait until they see amazing!

Catching Up

Life has been so hectic and doesn't seem to be settling down. Here is the abbreviated version:

1. Canadian Thanksgiving was this week. We had a lovely dinner with lots of extended family at our home. Everyone contributed so there wasn't too much work for anyone. Great food and great company made for a wonderful evening.

2. My mother and step-father are staying with us for a few days. They are visiting from Arizona and have been with us a week. I haven't seen my mom in two years. Arizona is such a long distance, so it is hard for us to get down there and hard for them to get up here. We've been having a great time visiting, although my work is really falling behind.

3. We've had to hire a tutor for one of the children. When it became obvious that extra help was needed we made the decision to spend the money even though we didn't know where it would come from. Less than twenty-four hours later, I received a phone call from the school offering me a two month position, filling in for someone who is taking medical leave. It is definitely one of those tender mercies. I'm so grateful to know He watches over our needs.

4. NaNoWriMo is coming up quickly. With the new job and everything else I have to work on, I'm not sure I'll be signing up, but I haven't entirely ruled out the possibility yet.

5. My oldest daughter informed me the other day that there is a formal dance coming up at the school. Out school usually holds one formal dance during the year, but in the last few years I've noticed they are planning more and more. Of course this means that she needs to find a dress. Because she is a difficult size to find and the local shopping is incredibly limited, I have some sewing to do. It'll be fun if I can just get her to decide what she wants.

6. My office is almost finished and as soon as I put the final touches in, I'll post pictures. I'm very happy with how it turned out, although the project did remind me that I don't really enjoy painting. I'd much rather do my creating with words or with a needle and thread.

7. So far the reports I've been getting on Finding Rose have been positive. I'm getting many requests for the second book.

8. And that all leads back to the writing. The next story is almost entirely plotted. I have a little research to finish up and then I'll get it all on paper. I'm excited about the story and some new characters who have taken up residence in my mind.

Why I Write

I wrote the following essay for "Get to Know You Monday" on the Walnut Springs blog. It seemed to capture all the reasons I keep staring at a computer screen trying to make the story in my head make sense on paper. 

"I write because I made up my mind years ago that I would be published someday. Books have always been one of my favourite things. As a child I read all the time. When I was about five years old, I realized that all the books on the library shelves had to be written by someone. I decided then and there that someday I would have my name on the cover of a book and my story would fill the pages inside. 

I write to express myself. As a teenager, writing was a way for me to cope with all the confusing emotions that accompany high school. Most of that writing was poetry filled with teen angst but that poetry phase taught me how to use words wisely to be able to get the most power out of them. 

I write for the thrill of discovering the plot and becoming acquainted with the characters. I am not one of those writers who has endless story ideas fighting to be told, but I have enough and when I sit to start something new, there is always an idea that begs for attention. Once a story idea takes centre stage, I can’t put it away until it is done. 

I write for my children. I want them to see that their mother takes her talents seriously and that they, too, can accomplish anything they set their minds to. I also want to tell stories that they can read and that don’t have to be censored. I want them to see that a good story can be told without challenging the moral standards we have in our home.

There have been days when I try to talk myself out of being a writer. The reasons are varied, but it is an argument I never win. That urge to write is too strong. There is an inner voice that tells me to write, that assures me it is what I am supposed to do. The short answer is that I am compelled to write. It is what I do and I can’t imagine life without a story to tell."

That pretty much sums it up, although after a long discussion about the new book I'm working on, my husband came up with one more reason. He pointed out that I like to be in control of things. That is why, for example, I like to be in charge of events rather than be one of the helpers. As he listened to me make things happen in my stories, he came to the conclusion that I like to write because I can control every aspect of my characters' lives. It's a good theory. I'm not sure how true it is as I often lose the battle when I try to get characters to follow certain paths and instead they lead me on a merry chase through uncharted territory. I think I write because I have to know what the ending is. Discovering the story is where the fun lies. And even though I do love to be in control, nine times out of ten, the story just happens.

Reaching the Goal

Ever since I first realized that someone had to write all the stories on my bookshelf, I have wanted to be one of those people. Funny how some dreams get put aside and almost forgotten, but they pop up every so often and beg to have some attention. About eleven years ago I began writing again. I finally realized that if I kept putting it off, it would never happen. Something else would always take priority if I let it.

I learned the craft slowly. Sometimes I wasn`t sure exactly what I should write. For a few years, I penned articles for the local newspaper and discovered quickly that, although I could write a good article my heart just wasn`t in it. After dabbling in short stories, I moved on to novels and found the type of story telling I really love. There is something so satisfying about being able to develop an interesting cast of characters, a great setting and an intriging plot.

Of course, writing for myself is fine, but there is always the hope that someone else will see the value in my work. Well, Walnut Springs Press believes in me and is publishing my first novel. It should be  released sometime this summer, although I don't have any specific dates. Right now, even the title is up in the air.

It feels like it has been such a long wait, but I know this is just the beginning. I have many things to learn and many more stories to tell. Reaching the goal of being published is just the first step on the ladder. I`m just getting started and I can`t wait to see what life holds for me in the next eleven years.

*****

Rose Sterling doesn’t take life or her religion seriously, but when her father dies her carefree world is turned upside down and she is forced to grow up. While her mother and brother prepare to immigrate to Alberta, she is sent to live with family in Montana, where the comfort of her Utah home is far away and Mormons are viewed with suspicion. Rose is sure the year ahead of her will be miserable and lonely, but the unexpected attentions of three men force her to make difficult decisions regarding her future. What she finds in Montana teaches her the value of love and the strength of her own beliefs.

Playing Catch Up

Despite all my best intentions to be more consistent with my blogging, I have fallen more behind than ever. You would think with everything going on in my life, I would have lots to say. Instead, most of my brain power is just spent in trying to keep up.

Since February I have been involved with a play the Cultural Arts Society put on. My two oldest children were involved and the youngest was just jealous because she wasn't old enough to try out. Because I am on the board of directors, the question wasn't "Do you want to help?" but "Which job do you want?" Whenever I am given that choice, I pick costumes because I can do it in my own time rather than during scheduled practises.  The kids all looked great during the performances and they did a fantastic job with the play. By the time the final week rolled around, we were all sick of the whole thing, but the next week we were already talking about what play they might choose to do next year. 

Right in the middle of all that busyness, I attended the LDStorymakers conference in Utah. This was my fourth year and as always, it was an amazing experience. I can't believe how much the conference has grown. I remember the first year I went. It was small and perfect for an introvert like me. Now it's like attending a giant family reunion where the family just gets a little bigger every year. I'm already looking forward to next year and hoping that it just might be scheduled at a time when my oldest daughter will be able to come.

My university course has suffered through all this. I'm glad I decided to start with only one since I already had to take an extension on it. Another project came up and I had to make a decision on which took priority. After much discussion with my husband, the school got put aside. I have to hit the books hard now and get those essays written so I can finish the class and sign up for the next one.

With everything going on, I am struggling to get the writing in, but I am constantly working on projects that are stretching my mind in whole new directions. I love how writing keeps my mind active and there is always something new to learn. I only wish there were a few more spare hours to be had. Summer gets closer and I always imagine how I will spend entire days working on the next novel, but in reality, my summer is already booked solid with family vacations, reunions, girls camp and catching up on some sewing for the girls. Honestly though, I seem to work better under pressure. I'm hoping to get another book well on its way in the quiet moments, however rare they are. I'm just glad the kids are old enough to fend for themselves most of the time.

I finally got a calling in the ward after a six month break. They asked me to be the Mia-Maid advisor. I just wondered why they couldn't have called me after girls camp. I went to my first camp meeting last night. At the girls request, they are really roughing it. Sounds scary to me. I don't need showers and running water to camp, but I do have my limits. Hopefully I'll survive. If nothing else, there should be some good fodder for stories. Now just to squeeze out the time to write them all.

The Subtle Difference

Tonight I had the opportunity to attend the school band concert. My children tried to convince me it would be a long, horrible experience full of musical errors and sour notes. They don’t understand that to a mom, every performance is wonderful. The musical selections for the evening revolved around Hollywood and we got to hear songs from Spiderman, Harry Potter, Aladdin, Lord of the Rings, and more. The senior elementary school choir began the evening, followed by the grade six band. I was truly impressed with how well the kids played after only having their instruments for eight months. The evening continued with each grade’s band taking a turn until we reached the high school choir, and the concert band (grades 10, 11, and 12). These groups did an amazing job and finished the evening off with a bang. It was an enjoyable concert.

What I really noticed was how different each level was, and yet how subtle the differences were.  Each grade improved slightly, but if I compared the youngest musicians to the oldest, the difference in skill was amazing. It is neat to see how far they come during the years they spend in band. The youngest kids played well but lacked a some of the finesse the older kids had. They made more mistakes and lacked a little confidence. The older kids had the skill and the ability to play more smoothly, put dynamics into the pieces, and make fewer errors. But they lacked some of the enthusiasm of the younger kids.

It got me thinking about writing. As I’ve been doing some serious editing lately, and when I read things I wrote several years ago, I am amazed at how far I’ve come. The differences between each piece are minor, but when I compare some of the earlier things I wrote with what ends up on the page now, it is gratifying to see the improvement. Even those subtle differences show me that I am still learning and improving my skills. Those day-to-day differences aren’t always noticeable, but they are there. I always tell my kids that as long as you’re learning, then life is good. Every year in band they improve a little more and every time I write, my skills grow. I can’t wait to look back ten years from now and see how far I’ve come. Meanwhile, life is good.

Easter Break Score Card

Just day-to-day stuff:

• 1 easter picnic with the extended family
• 6 loads of laundry washed and folded
• 1 family home evening activity in the city with the kids
• 6 dinners cooked
• 1 grocery shopping trip in the city
• 1 date night in the city
• 1 blog written
• 1 migraine
• 1 sewing room cleaned
• uncountable hugs given
• 1 pair of pants hemmed for a neighbor
• 1 hoodie mended after a run-in with a band saw
• 0 school work
  

For the play:

• 1 play practice attended
• 6 skirts sewn (with help from my lovely assistants/daughters)
• 8 pairs of pants sewn
  
• 6 vests sewn
  
• 3 pirate shirts sewn
  
• 6 sashes made
  
• 6 eye patches made
• 1 felt pirate hat sewn complete with blood-red plume
• 40+ metres of fabric used

And writing/editing:

• 2 very short hours

Oh well, there's always next week, right?

Reading and Writing

I have been reading like crazy lately. Out of the 30 books nominated for the Whitney Awards, I've read 22 1/2 but I'll get them all done, I think. It is always amazing to me the variety of books out there and the amount of really good writing. Doing all this reading affects my own writing as I look at the different ways other authors approach a story. It is all part of the learning process. Sometimes I wish the learning process wouldn't take so long, and I could say I did it and I'm published. Compared to some of my author friends, I feel like I am coming to the table very late in the game. But better late than never. Keep watching for me, because I will get there someday. Meanwhile, I have a little more reading to do.

Journal Winner

Oops! I almost forgot about the contest for the journal. Actually, I remembered, I just couldn`t remember when I said I would draw. Okay, that pretty much explains the state of my mind these days. Anyway. . .after using highly scientific methods, I have determined the winner to be:

Taffy

Congratulations Taffy! Send me your email address and I`ll get the journal to you right away.

*****

Besides the noble art of getting things done is the more noble art of leaving things undone.
-Lin Yu Tang

I seem to be excelling at the latter. With so many demands on my time, I have to pick and chose what gets done, and what gets put aside for later. Long gone are the days when I diligently cleaned my house every morning and put a lot of effort into nice meals. The house is still tidy and the family still gets fed, but so much of my energy goes elsewhere, that I often feel a little guilty for not excelling in the art of being a homemaker.

It really is okay though. I have the full support of my husband and my kids who think it is cool to have a writer in the house. The fact that this writer hasn`t been published yet doesn`t seem to matter to them. They are also supportive of my return to school. There is a limit though. I`m trying to cut back on my activities and lighten the load, as much for my benefit as theirs. After all, it is nice to be able to stop and breath once in a while.

Journals and Bored Teenagers

On Sunday I had the opportunity to teach the Laurel class. The lesson went well if you consider a one-sided discussion a good lesson. My daughter is in that class and she told me later that I kept looking at her. I told her it was because I knew she had the answer - it didn't make her speak up. According it the Young Woman's president, their reaction was fairly standard. At the end of the lesson, I could only think how good it would be to return to Relief Society.

On the way out of the room, the YW's president stopped me and asked if I would be willing to teach a Tuesday night class on journaling to the group. My first question to her was to inquire as to whether I had to keep an active journal to take on the task. She said my name came to mind because I am the only writer she knows and she figured if anyone was going to keep a journal, it would be a writer.I told her to give me a few days to forget about the faraway looks and disinterested stares before and then I'd be happy to do it. It serves me right for thinking I could escape so easily.

I purchased my first journal on my ninth birthday with some money my great-grandmother gave me and the books have slowly been filling up ever since. To be honest, my journals are extensive and there are times when I faithfully wrote for years without missing a day. Now I'm more likely to go years without writing an entry. Since January I have been trying to record something every Sunday. It's nowhere near what I used to do, but it is something.

As I started thinking about journalling, I realized that journals of all sorts are completely integrated into my life. There is my personal journal - like I said, one entry a week. There is also the journal I take with me to church meetings to record impressions and thoughts (and yes, story ideas.) My writer's journal follows me everywhere and is filled with brief descriptions, story starters, newspaper articles that intrigue me and notes about stories in progress. I also have a school journal where I record brief entries about the assignment I'm working on, how I feel about the learning process and notes about things I need to do. There is also a scripture journal with insights and impressions from my study time, my day planner which has all sorts of nuggets about life in it, and the morning pages I write before I do my other work which contain some surprising nuggets of thought. And of course, there is this blog - which, like my personal journal, has been suffering some neglect, but I do intend to give it some loving attention.

So after some thought, I guess I am a prolific journal writer. It seems I am surrounded by efforts to leave some sort of record of my thoughts and insights. Some of these attempts are more neglected than others, though which one gets ignored always changes.

Now I need to figure out how to take the obsession I have with the written word and relay some of that to the girls. A simple lecture will leave them all snoring in their seats and if I ask for too many answers to too many questions, the girls are bound to get that blank look as their minds wandering far from the topic at hand.

A few vague concepts are floating around in my head, but I'm looking for ideas. How would you get sixteen and seventeen year old girls enthused about keeping a journal and present it in such a way that they all stay awake?

And since I still have a bunch of handmade journal/scrapbooks I made at Christmas time, lets turn this into a contest. There are several books left, so you may be able to pick the color you like. Everyone who comments with an idea for this presentation will be entered to win. If you mention this on Facebook, Twitter, or your blog you get another entry. I'll draw a name on March 1st.

A Few Tidbits

I've noticed more and more blog posts written point form. Is this because we are all becoming so busy it is easier to list a few things and then move on to something else? Throughout the day I think of the odd thing to write, but I never actually get to sit down and write it. (Notice I am finally sitting down to write a few words and it is almost 12:30 a.m.? Yes I'm just a little crazy and a lot sleep deprived.) So here are a few things running through my head. . .

• I finally finished half of an assignment for my class. I'll work on the other half tomorrow so I can get it sent off. Who knew I could find summarizing a short essay so difficult? It's probably because I over-think everything and hold myself up to such high standards. Rick keeps telling me not to worry so much about it. Hopefully the school thing will come a little easier as I find my groove.

• Still working on edits for Finding Rose. It's coming along, but not nearly as fast as I'd like. I did make some good progress today and I'm hoping to be able to get it out to readers soon so I can get it submitted before I head down to the LDStorymakers conference in April.

• I finally registered for the conference and am so excited to be going again. The night I registered, I just kept laughing to myself. Just one more reason for my husband to think I'm a little off my rocker. I think I look forward to the conference so much it just made me happy to sign up and get the money sent off.

• Finished a book today that had to be the worst book I've ever read. No I won't tell you the name, but I learned a lot about pacing and story development through this great example of what not to do. I couldn't help rewriting the book in my head as I read it. Sometimes reading something that bad helps me look at my own writing through different eyes. Hopefully I can catch any similar mistakes in my own work and clean them up before submitting.

I really should get to bed. Morning comes early and I'm never ready for it, even when I do get to sleep on time. Maybe I'll dream up a brilliant blog post to make up for the above randomness. Or at least enough material to finish the post I began yesterday. One can always hope, right?

Finding What Works

Ever since I had my first child, my weight has climbed. There have been the odd times when I lose a few pounds, but nothing I tried ever worked long term. Most of the time I give up far too easily and end up heavier than ever. As I watched the number grow, I found myself more worried about my health and even worse, I found my confidence shrinking. At one point I gave up. Why bother trying if every diet plan just made me frustrated and grumpy? Last October I stood on the scale and the number horrified me. I hadn't even been that heavy when I was pregnant. With some good advice from my mother, I decided to give it another try. To date I have lost twenty-one pounds. I'm still working at it but there will be no quitting this time. I think I found what works for me.

Writing is a struggle, too. Mostly it is a time issue. I need to drop something from my schedule - I just haven't figured out what yet. Some of it is a confidence problem. I still see so much of my work as unreadable and wonder why I ever thought I could do this. Those are things I try to improve on daily. The bigger problem is that I am still trying to find what works.

I tend to write by the seat of my pants. I let the story flow from my fingers and just hope it makes sense in the end. It's the same way I used to write high school and college papers - not really a highly recommended method, but somehow I got by. What I've discovered is that I'm not really fond of editing. When the story is told, I want to be done. Of course, letting it all just spill out onto paper leaves a lot of holes that I have to go back and fill in. I can do it, but it just about drives me crazy.

I'm trying to teach myself to outline a little more. But I love to see where the story goes without me over-thinking it. So I need to find the balance of not too much planning, but just enough to leave me with fewer holes in the end. Someday I'll figure it out. Until then I stumble along hoping that I can pull it all together and find the right system for me. I go to conferences, participate in my critique group and read as much as I can. All the little things I pick up here and there help and I can see myself getting better all the time. It's all just part of the lengthy learning process. But if I can improve my eating habits, surely I can improve my writing habits as well. It's all just a matter of finding what works.

A New Year and a New Start

2009 wasn't a great blogging year for me. As I think back, maybe it's because not much seemed to happen and the things that did happen kept me from the computer. I seem to take on more and more projects and I wonder how I get anything done. Anyway, I'm not looking back right now, this is all about looking forward. There are so many things on my plate and the biggest challenge is going to be scheduling everything.

1. Community Service: There are some new jobs I need to learn. I'm a member of the Cultural Arts Society in town and only barely managed to avoid the position of president at our last annual general meeting. I ended up as vice-president. It was made quite clear that they are grooming me to take over. Hopefully that is several years away. I am also on the public library board and at our last meeting they asked me to take on the role of secretary as our old secretary is retiring. I tried to beg out of that one, but no one else would step forward, and the job needs to be done. Sometimes I want to walk away from both of these, but they've had so few volunteers in the last few years, and both are important to me and to the community. I guess I'm in for the long haul.

2. My family is also expecting more homemade bread and other goodies, thanks to the Bosch mixer that Santa brought. It is a huge step up from the old -fashioned egg beater I had been using. I made a couple loaves of whole wheat bread yesterday and couldn't believe how fast and easy it was. I'm excited to try new recipes and add all the fancy grains I love. I'm tired of paying so much at the store for a high fibre loaf of good bread.

3. I also signed up for Weight Watchers online a few months ago. It's been going really well (although Christmas really got me). I plan on hitting it hard this year and I can't wait to see the results. Already, I'm wearing a skirt I haven't been able to wear in two years.

4. Education: I took a huge leap and signed up for university. My husband and I have been having a lot of conversations about the future and my lack of education keeps bothering me. We finally decided going back to school is the right thing. I'll be doing most of it through distance education, which will give me the freedom to stay home with the family and take as few or as many courses as I can handle at one time. I've been wanting to do this for a long time, but now that I am actually looking at course manuals, I wonder if I have enough brain cells left to make it work.

5. Writing: I'm still working on the edits to my novel and hope to get it resubmitted very soon. The revisions are lengthy, but I can see how they are going to make the story better. I'm looking forward to the LDStorymakers conference in April and will likely be bringing a bunch of writing friends this time. This past year I started a critique group that has been valuable and a lot of fun. We kept things pretty casual, but with a rather large donation of funds, we had to go more official, so the group elected me Chairperson of the Southern Alberta Writer's Workshop. Should be another interesting learning experience.

6. And last but not least is family. Despite all the other things going on in my life, I need to spend more time with my family. I keep thinking about my oldest daughter and how she only has a year and a half before she heads off to university. It seems like it is coming too fast and I have to spend every moment with her that I can. Then I look at the other two and realize they aren't far behind. Every moment is precious. I'm especially grateful for my long-suffering husband who takes the pieces of me that are left and never complains. He needs more time too.

So with all that I am juggling, I don't know if this blog will be any more active. I'm not setting any concrete goals here. I'll just be here when I can and hope you will all continue to drop by once in a while.

Happy New Year!

Critique Friends

I love my critique group. We are few, but I so enjoy getting together these with fellow writers. As one of them said, "I've never enjoyed being critiqued so much." Every time I learn so much and get so much encouragement. Tonight the meeting was just what I needed. I stalled out on my NaNo writing after the first day, but with some brainstorming tonight, I just may have found the direction I need to go and I'm ready to tackle my word count again tomorrow. Thanks girls!

My only complaint is that we are so few. So if anyone knows of any other writers in the Southern Alberta area who are looking for someone to go over their work with I fine tooth comb, send them my way. I know this is short, but I need some sleep. I've got lots of writing to do tomorrow.

Because We Have To

"We do not write because we want to; we write because we have to." W. Somerset Maugham

This quote has always described my experience with writing so well. I spent so many years with a little voice inside my head telling me to write and so many years when I did everything but write. When I actually sit down and start pouring words out onto paper, everything falls into place somehow. This is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Yet, I'm not one of those people that walk around with thousands of story ideas falling out of my head onto paper. I have to work hard to come up with each tale I tell. Sometimes it's a painful process. But it's worth it when one of my readers begs for more stories or won't quit bothering me about sequels to the books I've written.

I've been thinking about talents lately. I believe I was blessed with a talent to write. Even as a young child, I wrote. But there are other talents I was blessed with as well. Other authors have told me that to be successful you have to put all other interests aside and become a writer. I tried it for awhile and found that it most definitely wasn't working for me. I can see how others may find it necessary, but I find when I put other creative pursuits away, the writing muse dries up entirely. It seems like if I try to put to much focus on one area, not only do the other skills I have wither, so does the writing.

I also have to be realistic. Unlike some writers who are able to put all hobbies aside to pursue their writing, I have to keep some of these hobbies up. For example, my sewing keeps two teenage girls in clothing when we can't find anything modest in the stores or when they just can't find anything that fits properly (who knew skinny could be such a curse!). One of those daughters is starting to talk about a grad dress for next year. I know I can give her a custom fit, designer original at a fraction of the cost of just buying it off the rack. Sewing also helps to pay some of the bills when I really put some time into it. It is also something I can do without a lot of thinking, giving me time to plot while I stitch.

It's all about balance. It has taken me some time to figure this out, but for me it means allowing myself some time everyday to do something for me that isn't related to reading or writing. Sometimes it is as little as fifteen minutes, but it makes a difference. Some people are able to be single-minded in their pursuit of the publishing dream, but not me. And knowing that about myself will make the journey that much more pleasant. I'll put in the hard work and I will get there, hopefully soon. Until then, I'll keep my self going one word, and one stitch at a time.